Liquid // words

every time i open my mouth 
the words feel shallow 
heavy on my tongue
they reflect the emptiness
i feel
without any of the meaning
i prescribe

words are insufficient 
yet they’re all i have
who will still love me when i speak them?
when they pour out of me & never stop?

i’m trying not to 
let the dam burst 
but it’s already leaking out
i can’t hold the water 
through the cracks 
in my fingers 
any longer

i’m sitting in a pool 
of my own blood
watching my life force 
drain out of me

because i’m too afraid 
to stop the bleeding 
what if i don’t recognize myself 
once i am whole?

what if 
no one responds 
to my distress calls?

i spent a lifetime 
trying to patch up my own wounds

but there are some i cannot see 
and even more that i cannot reach

my screams  e c h  o  o  o
in my head 

to allow the imperfections 
to sit with the uncertainty 

but what if my blood 
has forgotten 
how to coagulate?

what if i have nothing to fear at all?